The Flagship Program
Four weeks. Ninety minutes a session. Join in person or live online. Three steps to love well, before you say "I do" and after. Charisse calls this her maiden voyage, and she means it.
Dates for the next cohort are announced at the free live workshop on October 22, and to everyone who applies.
The Idea
Ten percent of a person sits above the surface. Ninety percent sits below. Flip the iceberg and you see who you're actually marrying, or who you actually married. But the harder and more useful flip is the one you do on yourself: what are the icebergs holding you back from loving freely and giving your heart openly?
That's the whole program. Not theory about relationships. The thing Charisse learned living through fifteen years, a divorce, and a second marriage that started rocky and held.
What FTI Stands For
Three steps, one per week, and then a fourth week where you put them to work on your own situation.
Discover and flip your own icebergs first, then flip the person you're dating or marrying. What makes them tick, what makes you tick, and what you've been calling personality when it was actually programming. Most people have never looked at their own list, which is exactly why the same pattern keeps arriving wearing a different face.
Your mind, your understanding, your expectations, your perspective. The fairy tale said everyone's happy and everything gets along. Then came the first fight, on the honeymoon. This is where you write down the expectations you carried in and decide which ones have to go, and where you practice asking what's under the iceberg before asking whose fault it is.
"I love myself. I am worthy. I deserve it." You'll say all three out loud, and whichever one catches in your throat is the work. You cannot intentionally love another person until you can say all three and mean them. Then you choose it daily, for them, including forgiveness, because everybody screws up.
Week by Week
Ninety minutes a week, roughly half teaching and half practice, because reading about your pattern and actually seeing it on paper are two different experiences. Same four weeks whether you're in the room or on the live video.
| Wk | Step | Focus | In-session practice |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Find | Your iceberg, and theirs. Ten percent above the surface, ninety below. Discover your own icebergs, then map what makes your partner, your date, or your ex tick. | Name the icebergs that hold you back from loving freely. Map what you see above the surface and what may sit below. |
| 2 | Transform | Expectations and perspective. The fairy-tale vision of marriage versus the real thing. One finger points out and three point back at you. | Write the expectations you carried in and decide which ones need to change. Practice asking what's under the iceberg before asking whose fault it is. |
| 3 | Intentionally Love | Yourself first, then your person. I love myself. I am worthy. I deserve it. Then choosing love and forgiveness every single day. | Stand and say the statements out loud. Notice which ones you don't yet believe, and work that one. |
| 4 | Apply | Your situation, out loud. Hot seats by track: single, engaged, divorced, married. The same three steps, aimed at the chair you're actually sitting in. | Write your personal plan for daily, intentional love, including what you do when it gets rocky. Then say the three steps back: find, transform, intentionally love. |
Required reading: the Flipping the Iceberg book and the workbook. You read ahead so the live hours go to the concepts and the practice instead of the reading.
Four Doors, One Workshop
Singles, engaged couples, divorced individuals, and married couples go through the same framework. Tell Charisse which one you are and she'll aim it at your situation.
"I got a boyfriend so I would never be alone. It took writing a book to see what I was really doing."
Uncover your own icebergs and learn what drives your patterns, so the next relationship is a choice instead of a reflex.
Apply as a SingleStart free: take the Iceberg Check
"I knew at the altar. I said yes anyway. Do not let that be your story."
Uncover the mask your partner is wearing, and the one you're wearing. See the ninety percent the engagement glow hides.
Apply as EngagedStart free: take the Iceberg Check
"I was curled up on my bed when I realized I did not know who I was without the title of wife."
Find what's under the surface, transform it, and learn to love again on purpose.
Apply as DivorcedStart free: take the Rebuild Check
"Our first fight was on our honeymoon. I said we had a great marriage and meant the opposite."
Stop asking whose fault it is and start asking what's under the iceberg.
Apply as MarriedStart free: open the Marriage Meter
Two Ways to Attend
Same four weeks, same three steps, same ninety minutes. You pick the one that fits your life when you enroll.
Face to face, where you work the framework with real conversation and real accountability. You stand up and say the statements out loud with other people in the room, which lands differently than saying them to a webcam.
Best for people local to Charisse who want the full in-person experience. Seats are capped by the room.
Apply, In PersonThe same framework, delivered live over video so anyone, anywhere, can go through it in real time with the group. Not pre-recorded, not a course you click through alone at midnight.
Best for anyone outside Charisse's local area, or anyone whose Thursday nights don't allow a drive.
Apply, Live OnlineWhy This One
Ninety real minutes with Charisse, in the room or on live video. Either way it happens in real time, so you can ask your question and get it answered that night.
A small group of people doing the same work, instead of you and a workbook and nobody to talk to.
Fifteen years, a divorce, and a second marriage that started rocky and held. Plus years teaching interpersonal relationships and group dynamics to thousands of college students.
Enrollment
The group is small and the work is real, so Charisse wants a conversation before anyone enrolls. Apply, tell her which door you're walking through, and she'll tell you honestly whether now is the time. Pricing is discussed then, not published here.
The fastest way to decide is to spend an hour with her first. The free live workshop on Thursday, October 22 runs 7 to 8:30 PM, in person, and the cohort dates are announced in the room that night.
It is the last one at this price, and seating is limited.
Save a Seat for Oct 22Charisse's number is 801-882-7296. Call or text her, tell her which door you're walking through, and she'll tell you honestly whether now is the time.
Email flippingtheiceberg@gmail.com and tell her where you are. No pitch, just a conversation.
Her Mission
Charisse's goal, in her own words: get people healed so they can make healthy decisions, and then get to know the person they want to marry. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be treated with respect. You deserve to be loved. No matter what's already happened.
Common Questions
Because a single hour disappears into teaching with nothing left for practice, and the practice is the part that changes anything. Ninety minutes leaves room to actually map your iceberg, write your expectations, and say the statements out loud while Charisse is there. Four weeks means one step per week plus a week to apply it to your own situation, and it's a month rather than a season, which people actually finish.
Yes, both are required. You read ahead so the live hours go to concepts and practice instead of catching up. Get the book and the workbook, or pick up the ebook edition as part of the $37 early-bird VIP upgrade at the October 22 workshop.
Yes, and couples often get the most out of it. Mention it on your application so Charisse can set the group up properly.
Tell Charisse. It's a small live group, so it's handled person to person rather than by policy.
No. Charisse is an author, speaker, and coach, not a licensed therapist, and this program is not a substitute for professional therapy or medical advice. If you're working with a licensed professional, this can sit alongside that work. See the full FAQ for more.
