Frequently Asked Questions
About the book, the workbook, the workshops, and whether any of this is the right starting point for you.
Start Here
No. Charisse is not a licensed therapist, and Flipping the Iceberg is not a substitute for professional therapy or medical advice. It's a framework built from lived experience and years of teaching interpersonal relationships and group dynamics, meant to help you see your own pattern. If you're working through trauma with a licensed professional, this book and its workshops can sit alongside that work, not replace it.
What you see in a relationship, the charm, the chemistry, the way things click at first, is roughly ten percent of the story. The other ninety percent sits below the waterline: the beliefs, the wounds, the patterns learned so early they feel like personality instead of programming. Flipping the iceberg means turning it over so you can finally look at the part that's been deciding things all along.
Start with the book. It gives you the framework and the language for what you've been noticing but couldn't name. If you want to go further, add the workbook so you're not just reading the pattern, you're mapping your own. If you'd rather start free, download the Map Your Own Iceberg worksheet and spend twenty minutes with it.
The book gives you the framework: what the iceberg is, why the pattern forms, and how to start seeing it. The workbook gives you guided exercises to actually map your own pattern on paper, chapter by chapter. Most people get the most out of using both together.
It's 218 pages. Readers consistently describe it as a quick read, but one you'll want to stop and sit with in places. Several have said they went back through it a second time with a pen.
Is This For Me
Yes, and honestly this is the best possible time to read it. The whole point of the first book is to do the work before you pick, not after. Charisse wrote it originally as advice to her own children, who weren't married yet.
No. Plenty of readers come to it mid-marriage and use it to understand why the same argument keeps happening. The second book, After You Say I Do, picks up specifically where the wedding ends.
No. The book and workshops welcome young adults, women, men, people in a relationship, engaged couples, people with trauma, codependent people, people who've experienced abuse, divorced people, single people, people who want to heal, and people who want a relationship.
Yes, and the sixth prompt in the free worksheet is built for exactly that conversation. One caution worth stating plainly: understanding your own patterns does not mean taking responsibility for someone else's behavior. Share only what feels safe to share.
Faith is part of how Charisse found her own way through, and she doesn't hide that. But the framework itself doesn't require you to share her beliefs to use it. Readers across the spectrum have found their own pattern in these pages.
Workshops and Coaching
It helps, but it's not required. The workshop walks through the Iceberg Framework directly, so you'll get the core ideas either way. Reading the book first just means you'll go in with a head start.
They haven't launched yet. Charisse is building the first cohorts now, in person locally and live online so people anywhere can join. Join the waitlist and you'll hear before spots go public.
No. They're delivered live over video, in real time, with actual conversation. The point is the group, not the content delivery.
Join the waitlist on the Workshops page. You'll hear first, before spots go public.
Orders and Logistics
You can buy it directly on this site, which supports Charisse's workshops and coaching most directly, or from Amazon in paperback or Kindle. It's also available everywhere books are sold.
The Kindle edition is available now. There's no audiobook yet.
Yes. Reach out directly with how many copies you need and what the group is, and Charisse will sort it out with you. There's also a free discussion guide if you're organizing a group read.
Email flippingtheiceberg@gmail.com with your order details and Charisse will take care of it personally. This is a small operation, not a call center, so you're emailing an actual person.
Yes. See the Speaking page for topics, or grab everything you need from the press and media kit.
